


Inevitabilis

by Allison_Goodfellow



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canonical Character Death, Drama, Fantasy, Gen, Minor Character Death, POV First Person, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:29:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29037894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allison_Goodfellow/pseuds/Allison_Goodfellow
Summary: One day, you'll realise how kind and merciful you are...
Kudos: 5





	1. Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Inevitability (lat.)  
> A little discussion of the theory mentioned in the films  
> Akemi Homura's story

What does it mean to restructure the laws of the universe?  
To change the universe, to destroy all the postulates, to destroy the constants. To restructure the universe means to upset the balance of the world. You can become one of the links in the Ring of Destiny, thereby condemning yourself to eternal suffering and endless battles. Breaking this vicious circle is impossible, because we enter into a contract with the Incubator. One condition. A soul in exchange for your deepest wish. But it's because of our wishes that Мagician become Witches. 

We're expendable. A source of energy. Little cogs in the complex machinery of the universe. According to the laws of physics, energy cannot be created or destroyed, it just goes from one form to another. Entropy. Rebirth. A closed system, isolated from the rest.  
Mitakihara.  
A city that is a cell. The Witch's labyrinth. Then why isn't she killing us? The mice are in the cage, the kitty is sharpening its claws to tear them apart. No action. She lured us here, isolated us from the real world... which may not even exist. And if this illusion was created to save us...?  
Where did so much energy come from for this endless cycle? Why so many unhappy girls with desires? Who are the Witches?!

The last of the Мagician. That's the fate that awaits everyone. Sooner or later the Gem of Soul is filled with despair, darkens and becomes the Seed of Sorrow, which cannot be purified. The defiled soul creates a space around itself, a door into which only Magicians can find. It is in such hidden worlds that Witches dwell. They give people the "Kiss of Death", causing them to fall ill or commit suicide.  
It hurts... it hurts... it hurts...  
No wish is worth it!

\- Wishes that go beyond logic, create a distortion of reality. No wonder it ends badly. If it feels like a betrayal to you, you shouldn't have wished for anything in the first place.  
\- You can't dispose of us like that! You separate the soul from the body and put it into the Gem. The body becomes a vessel, a comfortable form for battle, stronger and more resilient. It turns out that our lives depend on the preservation of the Gem, which is already fragile, and in the end we become what we are fighting against. You call that a contract?!  
\- For us Incubators, you are simply a powerful source of energy. Especially your feelings, which are impossible to control. When they overwhelm you, you become vulnerable, fragile. Do you know how much energy is generated? Enough to complete the cycle.

What is my wish? What have I given my soul for?  
For one girl Magician...  
Every time She died, I turned the hands of the clock, setting in motion the vast machinery of the universe. I created new worlds, just to save Her. In vain. She died. Time after time. In each world. By shattering time, I hurt not only myself, but also Her.  
"Defend to the end the one thing you truly value".  
How can you protect something that doesn't exist?! But She was... I remember... just me...  
I`ve shed many tears, hoping to be lucky for once. This world is against Her existence. But why?

Any change in the past affects the present, hence the future. All my jumps in time were connected to Her. Worlds collided at one point - in Her death. She unwittingly became the centre of the universe and the beginning of a new era. I had a theory about these worlds, about the very notion of the Universe, if it was even admissible.  
"If the universe is open, it will expand forever and death is expected. Approaching a state of entropy. But there is no point in talking about the energy of the world or entropy itself, for such quantities cannot be precisely defined".  
If She has such power, capable of destroying and creating the universe itself, it means She had a great desire, for which She gave up everything, even the right to exist.

\- Sacrificing life is only for those who have no choice. For the rest, it is just a game.  
People do not understand that the soul is above all things. The body is a collection of neurons and systems. When it dies, the soul starts wandering around the world looking for an object. It gets lost. According to Incubator, it gives the soul a physical tangible form, which we have to protect ourselves.  
\- You don't understand the point of your battles, do you? Suppressing pain is the only reason that makes you get up and finish the fight. This is possible because the mind is separate from the body. In time, you learn to suppress the pain completely. 

She suppressed not only her own pain, but the pain of all Magicians on earth. Condemning herself to endless battles with the Witches, She became the embodiment of mercy. By bringing all worlds together at one point, She rearranged the universe according to Her own laws, in which three things from different times and spaces exist. Unacceptable, but nothing is impossible for the Goddess. Her desire has become a law to which all are subject.  
No one knows of Her existence, and yet She used to be an ordinary girl, going to school, socialising with her classmates, smiling and laughing with her friends and greeting the new day with joy. On our last meeting She gave me the scarlet ribbon that had once been woven into her hair. The red thread of destiny that binds us through time and space. But now She is only in my memory. Her image, Her voice, Her name...  
Kaname Madoka.

I promise! I will save you!  
No matter how many times I say it, no matter how many times I have to turn back time, no matter how many times I have to die with you.  
I can protect you.


	2. Walpurgisnacht

Year after year there is a definite, relatively stable cycle on earth. The changing of the seasons. Each season has a specific date, be it the equinox or the solstice. This is the day that is considered the beginning of a new time. There is a change in temperature, in the length of day, in nature in general. People are said to wait for these days, but they all dread one day, the date of which is not even known. They call it the Day of Judgment. The earth itself will shake and the heavens will open their gates. Darkness will consume the sun and the time of the moon will come. Every soul will stand before God and answer for its sins.   
Atonement.   
People are so naive. They think you can be forgiven for murder or cruelty. Never! Only through suffering can they be redeemed. And as for us Magicians, we, too, are waiting for that cherished day that will change the fate of a thousand worlds. The strongest Witch will destroy the boundaries of space, and then chaos will reign.  
Walpurgis Night will come.

The truth. What is truth? A kind of concept in which one can consider independent truths, such as absolute and relative. The difference between them lies in the degree of accuracy and completeness of reflection of reality. Speaking of falsehood, one must distinguish between deliberate lying and delusion. And if Kyubey is lying and there is nothing after the Witch, that is, you cannot become God or Devil, and this is all by design of the Incubators. Their goal is to find a powerful source of energy and find out who Madoka is. But then what is false and what is true? I know Madoka, I remember her. Absolutely what she is. But then the existence of the Goddess is relative, perhaps even false...   
Girl. Magician. Witch. Goddess.  
Is Kyubey right about the last stage? After all, Madoka has become a Goddess, but does she exist...   
\- Kyubey, you're terrible! I'll kill you! You doubted the Witches, you doubted the fate of all of us. That's the proof! You have deceived us all! Your playing with our feelings is unforgivable. You just need to know what happened to Madoka. You want to start the Wheel of Destiny! Why?! Waiting for Madoka to appear, then you'll break the Law of the Cycle so you can take all the power for yourself, bring back the Witches and use the energy for your own purposes. Traitor!

"When you live for yourself, all responsibility is on you. There is no point in being angry or regretting anything. Once you understand that, you can put up with anything.  
Is it wrong to live for someone else? To take responsibility for his life and then to die. Emotions. Feelings. Perhaps love itself. Incubators will never understand this, never understand the value of human feelings. To them it is merely an indicator of mental illness. Simply put, feelings reflect a subjective unconscious evaluation of an object. The emergence and development of feelings expresses the formation of emotional constants. The stronger the feeling, the stronger its physiological manifestations.  
\- Homura, why are you so indifferent then?  
\- Maybe because I'm no longer human.

No one believes in the future. No one can accept it.  
\- Madoka. If someone promises you miracles, don't believe them.  
I won't rely on anyone else. I won't let Madoka fight. I'll destroy all the Witches myself. And if anyone says that's foolish, I'll say it's not true. And I'll always say that. And also... I alone... will stop Walpurgis Night.

\- Kyubey, this has gone too far! This... shouldn't be...   
\- Madoka, don't listen to him!  
\- If you agree to this, it's over. Only you have the power to change destiny. To stop this unacceptable destruction, this dissonance, this thousand-voiced sorrow and unbearable pain.  
\- Is this true? Am I capable of such a thing?  
\- Do not let yourself be deceived! It's a lie! Madoka!!  
\- Can someone like me stop all this? Can I change the predetermined outcome?   
\- Yes. Sign the contract and you'll become a Magician.

Miracles do not come for nothing. As much good will come from wishing, so much bad will come from wishing. In the end, it all comes down to zero. That's how the balance in the world is maintained.  
Judgment Day has come. That cherished hour, that long-awaited moment...   
It's here.  
A parade of colourful beasts and toys and other creepy creatures passes by. The chime of the bell and terrifying laughter.  
5\. quinque  
4\. quattour  
New buildings are erected and the old ones fall to the ground in rubble.  
3\. tres  
2\. duo  
Let the play begin!  
1\. unus

I am ready. A flame flashed in the sky, lighting the way. The rumble of the gears in Walpurga's mechanism shattered the silence of the resting world.   
The time has come. I will complete it. Bullets from a thousand guns rained down on the Witch. The barrage of pistols, bazookas, grenades and rocket launchers could not do even minimal damage. Stopping time, I launched more projectiles into the air. All the firearms were engaged, but none hit the target. The prepared supply of C-4 explosives didn't even scratch her. She only laughed at me. The air and the ground itself shuddered with this battle. Not a single grenade damaged the mechanism, but everything around it exploded and shattered into splinters. I must... win this fight for Madoka! I can't let her make a contract, otherwise it's all for nothing! I won't give up, Walpurgis! I will be a bullet, my body will be glass and my blood will be gunpowder. I will be the most powerful weapon in the world. Without hope of survival, without knowing what awaits me, I will overthrow you. The endless battle will be over, and then the fate of the world will change. With my own strength I shall save you, though with bloody hands.  
Valpurgis's spirits have begun to destroy the city. A great building has collapsed to the ground. I can no longer stand up... my legs... covered in blood...   
\- Why is it that no matter what I do, it's useless?! Every weapon in the world is available to me, but what's the point?! If I go back again, another thread awaits Madoka, a new world with a bad ending.  
The Gem of Soul has already lost its luster. It is filled with despair, darkness... Will I too become a Witch? I will even accept such a sacrifice if it will save Madoka.

\- She was incredible. I knew that Madoka would become a powerful Magician, but I never imagined that she would destroy Walpurgis in one shot.  
\- Did you know that's exactly what would happen?  
\- Sooner or later, it would have happened. She destroyed the strongest Witch as the strongest Magician. In this guise, Madoka would destroy the planet in ten days. In any case, we got enough power, even more than we needed. And you need your rest. You're not going to fight anymore, are you?  
\- No. My battlefield is not here.  
\- Akemi Homura, you...   
\- I'll do it again. I will repeat it over and over again, returning to the same time, looking for a way out of this trap. I will look to the past to save her from such a fate. Madoka is my only friend. If it's for her sake, I don't mind being trapped in the labyrinth of time.

There was one thought that haunted me. Why, fully armed, could I not kill Walpurgis Night? As long as I was able to fight, luck was on my side. But it wasn't enough to defeat the Witch. All my attacks and weapons were ineffective, so there was only one way out for me. A brutal way back, in the hope that I could turn things around before the fight. So why did Madoka only need one shot?

She used a bow and arrows of light as her weapon. The rest of the Celestial Quintet Magicians used static weapons. Sayaka and Kyoko fought with melee weapons, I had ranged firearms. But Mami... was also different from us, yet she didn't even manage to survive.   
Charlotte used to be a Witch, but now she was Mami's magical being. Being a snake, she resembled the shape of a ribbon, perhaps it was Mami's wish to live in a world where she would be happy. The ribbon is a connection to her desire to live. Charlotte became an element of Mamie's connection to magic, for without the latter the muskets would not be so powerful.  
Desire is greater than life, desire itself is life. But even that is not enough to make her the strongest Magician. 

I kept thinking about the essence of Magicians, but I know absolutely nothing about Walpurgis. I have a theory about who she might be. If Madoka is hope, then Walpurgis is doom. The two have become perfect enemies, that they are a reflection of each other. Madoka has collected the sorrows and griefs of all Magicians past, present and future, then I allow for the idea that Walpurgis Night is their incarnation. She is the combination of a thousand Witches who were once Magicians. Walpurgis' appearance looks like a buffoon, and the buffoon is a symbol of stupidity... Stupid girls tricked by Kyubey.   
Then it becomes clear just how terrible Walpurgis Night is, and only an equally powerful Magician can destroy her. One shot was the decisive one. For Madoka it was a thought of hopelessness. Inevitable failure. Ten days. That was enough time to erase the universe and erect a new one according to its own laws.

The rain cooled the scorched earth after a hard battle. We, the Magicians, have won, but even for that there is a price to pay.  
What's the cost of living?  
\- I'm sorry, I lied. I had one... the Seed of Sorrow... it's yours.  
\- You can't... Why are you giving it to me?!  
\- Because I want to ask you to do what I can't. You said you could control time, didn't you, Homura? You said you could change the course of history, right? Save me before I make the contract.  
\- I promise. I'll definitely save you! No matter how many times I say it, I will protect you!  
\- I'm glad... You know, Homura, I don't want to become a Witch. So many terrible and sad things have happened, but there's something in this world I'd like to protect to the end.  
\- Madoka!  
\- You... called my name... I'm happy...   
A gunshot. A deafening shot shattered the Gem of Madoka's Soul.   
Bloody shards, shattered dreams.

\- Heroine. Victim. Killer. Martyr. Lover. Liberator. Predictor. Who are you, Akemi Homura?  
\- The one who destroys the postulates of the world... goes against the laws of the Goddess.


	3. Aeternum

Kaname Madoka.  
Your name resembles with the whispering of stars. That's why my heart flutters every time I hear it.  
You are the unspoken words, the misty night, the scarlet dawn, and the secrets under the glass.  
You are my last thought before sleep and my first after sleep.  
You have a pure heart and an innocent soul. I bet you have flowers growing between your ribs, tearing everything inside. From this pain your heart suffers and liquid gold flows through your veins.

The progression of time translates into our experience, and the future becomes the present and the present becomes the past. It is impossible to talk about dynamics without the concept of time and its progression. Time, like spatial coordinates, is the extent to which events are defined. Time moves forward at the same pace and we are forced to go along with it. However, spatial coordinates are changeable, so one can move freely in any direction. My space was Mitakihara. I did not leave its confines, but I did change the time line, replacing myself each time. The theory of relativity states that the time progression is not universal and depends on who is changing it. Taking great acceleration or being in the vicinity of strong gravitational forces can change the speed of the flow of time, stop it or reverse it.  
Day after day, I turned the hands in the clockwork, changing the time line, hoping to change the past. With each journey, I was closer and closer to despair.   
My limit of stopping time is limited to a few minutes, but the journey itself takes place over a month. As the altered events form a new parallel reality, I remain myself in all times, just like Madoka, for she is the centre of all worlds.  
Eight years.  
That's how long I've spent travelling. There have been more than a hundred of them. How unbearably painful to see the same ending.  
Misery is inevitable.

I thought there was nothing outside of Mitakihara.   
\- Sakura, don't tell the others about this. I want to be the first to know.  
Everyone will be safe if they pretend nothing's going on. It's too obvious it's all fake.  
\- Homura, any idea what's going on?  
\- Yes. Someone has created a barrier, a closed dimension the size of a city, where all of us with altered memories end up. We don't know how long we'll have to play in this spectacle. Strangely enough, nothing else happens. Trapped prey lives in a trap, thought to be relatively free. It's not going to do any good. Tell me, do you remember me?  
\- Maybe you're right about memories. This must be the first time I've seen you, too. Cruelty and coldness suits you, oddly enough.  
Why am I the only one who remembers everything? Yes, I've seen it before. The illusion of a closed world. A labyrinth with no way out, where everyone is a victim.  
The Witch's Labyrinth.

There are three things in this fake Mitakihara that cannot exist in the same time, in the same world concept. The first is Madoka Kaname. No one remembers her existence, but against all odds she exists in this timeline. The second is Charlotte. The magical being that was the Witch. The third is me. Akemi Homura. A girl from another timeline.  
Kyubey created a special barrier, holding back the transformation process, waiting for the Law of the Cycle to appear so he could get Madoka's power and use it for his own purposes. If Madoka is only remembered by me, then only I could have created the world where she exists, too. According to Incubator, the Law of the Cycle tried to break inside that barrier to free me, but in a closed dimension, the materialised form became human without manifesting its true power. If I had died, Madoka would not have come for me. I was willing to become a Witch to save you. Why did you save me?!  
I had hoped that after you all transformed, you would destroy me together so you wouldn't have to change the laws of the universe.  
Why should I suffer after all these years?! Why are you being so nice?!

I remember when we were sitting on the outskirts of the city, there in the flowers... I cried, telling you how I felt. Tell me, Madoka, do you remember?  
"I found you. What happened? Homura, there's no need to avoid yourself. I'd love to hear you out. Perhaps I can help, because it's better than you keeping things to yourself.  
Ager viridis flores.   
Aspirante frigus noctis in volvent nobis.  
Mollis frigus lux lucernæ ardentes in vindi herba.  
\- It hurts when I see you suffer," you stepped forward a little then turned around afterwards, giving me an affectionate look.  
\- I had a really scary dream.  
\- A dream?  
\- You will go so far away that I cannot see you again. And everyone in this world will forget you. Only I will remember you in this vast world.  
Petalis peragit cursum venti.  
Ut nusquam redire.  
\- I was so lonely... No one understood how I felt. I started to think that all my memories of you weren't real.  
You came over and comforted me, not saying a word, just a little hug. I was waiting for you to come to me first...   
\- It was a horrible dream. But it's all right now. I'll never go so far away that you can't see me.  
\- Why? Why are you so sure?  
\- You know how weak-willed I am. And that's why I would never make someone suffer as much as you are now.  
\- But you will be hurt. So much so that you won't be able to handle it!  
Omnia mihi lacrimae exprimuntur.  
\- It's all good. You, Kyoko, Sayaka, Mami..." you carefully braided my long hair. So gentle and so nice," my mother and father, Tatsuya, my classmates. I never want to leave so I won't see everyone again. Even if I had no choice, I wouldn't have the courage to do such a thing.  
\- Right... You're right... You're being honest with yourself. How could I have made such a mistake?  
Usqus violacei coloris mutatio color.  
I'm not going to let that happen. I have to stop you. Madoka, you must know. Before I hurt you,  
Petala cadentesque concussa terra floribus.  
you must have the courage to make a difficult decision. When you remember that only you are capable of it,  
Accendentes luminaria pro parvis florum.  
Mollis lux circum nobis.  
You will realise how kind and merciful you are.  
Et volavit ad auras. Nocte parva miracula.  
Believe me, I know.  
Madoka, you don't remember anything. Maybe to me, you're just an illusion or a fake copy created by someone.  
How can we meet again?!  
No matter what I think, it's still impossible. But I'll tell you. You are the real Madoka. I can talk to you, I can feel your kindness. Thank you... You've made me happy, I couldn't even ask for that.  
I have to go now. There's something I have to do.  
Voitantes scintillae dispersa per noctem.  
I don't know if you understand me, but I can handle it. I won't let this world destroy you.

When we signed the contract, neither of us asked for conditions. When you are promised miracles, magic, incredible power, and only one wish in return, it's hard to help yourself. Everyone wants something, dreams about something, and this is a guarantee that any, even the most improbable wish, will be granted. Kyubey had never spoken of the conditions, believing them to be unnecessary.

The first condition is that the soul is separated from the body and becomes a Gem.  
Not everyone can become an instrument of murder. It is a dangerous game at the edge of life and death.  
The second condition is that the Magician and the Gem are inseparable.  
If you cross the distance, you die.  
The third condition is that every Magician eventually becomes a Witch.  
The balance of the world. Good is balanced by evil.

Woven into the Ring of Destiny, sharing the fate and power of the Goddess, the Celestial Quintet will fight against Witches...   
To renounce everything, to lose yourself...   
I'll do it if you kill me.

Mitakihara has become a vicious circle from which there is no way out. Or rather, there is, but it is tantamount to death. I want... to know the truth.  
Leaving my soul to burn in the fire, I boarded the bus that goes to the outskirts of the city. Separated from the Gem, I can still walk... How strange, since the limit is only 100 metres.  
The hands of the clock moved rattlingly across the dial. Time is my element. It's almost twelve o'clock. Is it counting down?  
In the distance, the city slowly melted into mist, from which a flock of owls flew in. Each of them sat on the clock. I've learned to find hidden meaning in everything. Did it mean I was using my time wisely?  
Midnight. The rain of fire destroys the city. Brutal, but maddeningly beautiful.  
Flames engulfed the bus and then it exploded. This looks like the Second District of Mitakihara. I made a circle, never leaving the city. I'm standing across the border - one step and I'm free. But only there is no way out. It does not exist... for me...  
In other words... I'm no longer the Magician.  
Pulling out my pistol, I shot my Gem. My soul shattered into shards of amethysts, but I'm still alive.  
Why?  
Will it end...?   
The ground was covered with scarlet flowers, grown from my blood.  
Lycorices. Flowers that bring death.  
When did I become a Witch?!

"Surrounded by thousands of blossoms, I accepted my fate.  
I love you so much that I gave up everything that was dear to me. For you.  
Akemi Homura is gone.  
A small black crown with a glowing amethyst inside will be a small reminder of me of my former self and a Soul Gem for my new self.  
Homulilly.  
Half severed head on which spider lilies grew from drops of blood, hands chained together. Surrounded by soldiers, the Witch.  
At the end of the path stands a huge guillotine with a sharpened blade.  
Punishment awaits me for transgressing the boundaries of what is allowed.   
The death penalty".

\- Madoka forgot that she was a Goddess, and you, Akemi Homura, forgot that you were a Witch.   
These two conditions destroyed all that now exists and brought about a great beginning. I came to a new world and discovered the truth. The delicate balance began to crumble. Kaname Madoka asks for help, but this pain that has befallen her will remind her of who she is and what she must do.  
\- Kyubey, tell me what your true purpose is.  
\- To confirm the existence of the Law of the Cycle, of course.  
\- To what end?  
\- Satisfaction of mere curiosity, as you say.  
I can't believe it! To go through so many timelines just to confirm the existence of Madoka. O D I U M  
\- You want to get a hold of Madoka, don't you!  
And there was nothing in the world louder than the sound of broken glass that shattered the barrier. And there was nothing more beautiful than a blood moon in a dark blue sky surrounded by stars.  
\- There was no denying that this was the main and only goal. We Incubators cannot interfere with something unless we are certain of its existence.  
\- But that didn't stop you.  
\- Right. If we can observe, we can interfere. And if we do that too, we can control it. One day, we would have the full power of the Law of the Cycle. The phase between hope and despair would be shortened. The energy created from your emotions is beyond our understanding. In truth, Magicians are the key to limitless possibilities.

He's right. Our senses can do a lot of things. I no longer have any regrets, because I am no longer the Magician. Akemi Homura's existence is over.  
\- At the end of your inevitable destiny, your promise will be fulfilled and you will meet the one you've been waiting for. Won't that make you happy?  
\- No. Not the happiness I dreamed of.  
\- You've cursed yourself. What are you thinking about? At this rate, rectification is unstoppable!

I became a Magician to save Madoka. If the secret is revealed to you, Kyubey, I'm ready to become a Witch.  
\- I'll never let you touch Madoka again!  
\- Why won't you give up? Do you realize you'll spend eternity in these curses?  
\- I assumed this labyrinth would be my grave.  
\- Do you know what happens if you die here? You'll never be able to get out of here, the Witch will be reborn inside this cage. You will be destroyed, never found by the Law of the Cycle. No one will save your soul from despair. You will lose your chance to see Kaname Madoka.   
\- Shut up! I won't let you desecrate Her name! Madoka gave up everything for us, to save the poor Magicians. She sacrificed herself, and now She's far away from us. She is lonely, but no one will ever come to Her. I would like to share Her loneliness.

All this senseless inumo. It pains me to live now, to see our destinies parted, for I am unable to say this to myself in the past. Vows broken, promises not kept.

The world is beginning to reshape itself. New laws will be created in this universe. Can we say that this is an encroachment on the act of creation?  
\- Akemi Homura, what are you encroaching on? What are you changing? It is impossible. The cursed Gem of Soul should have disappeared along with your soul. Then why...?   
\- By repeating the story, I hurt myself and suffered more and more. This is proof of my feelings for Madoka. Even now, that pain is dear to me. She was not the curse that defiled the Gem.  
\- Then what happened?  
\- Something you will never understand, Incubator.   
The belvedere of all human emotion.  
More than attraction, deeper than passion, stronger than despair.  
Love.

\- Not the Magician or the Witch. Akemi Homura, what are you trying to become?  
\- Madoka was as sacred as God, and I could neither take her from Heaven nor destroy her. For doing such things, I can be called a Demon, right?  
\- Then everything is clear. Using human feelings is very dangerous. We cannot control what in its final form is unaccountable and irrational.  
\- I can't control all the curses alone. What this world needs now is you, the Incubators. Incubators of unfulfilled desires into reality.  
You will stay with me forever, Kyubey... 

Qui fovent somnium?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation of Latin phrases.
> 
> The title is Eternity.
> 
> A green field of flowers. The coolness of the night breeze gently wrapped us. The soft cold light of lanterns illuminated the emerald grass.  
> A run spread the petals on the wind. They will never come back.  
> Tears expressed everything for me.  
> The flowers changed from white to purple.  
> All the flowers wilted and the petals fell to the ground.  
> Little lights were lit instead of flowers. A soft light surrounded us.  
> They soared into the air. A small nocturnal wonder.  
> The flames flew away, scattering the light in the night.
> 
> odium - hate
> 
> "Who kept the dream?"


	4. Per tempus et spatium

\- Do you have any idea what you've done?!  
\- It looks like you do, Miki Sayaka.

Monochrome. Our meeting was devoid of colour. The depths of the sky, cleared by the blackness reflecting on the surface of the water, hide the truth. That crystal past from which I can no longer hide. Cold burns the contours of my scars, ice slowly melts in my fingers, gently merging with my blood. Tears have bound my love to the present, not the past - I want to remain shrouded in this lie forever, if that's possible... 

I fell in love with the night, forgetting how to breathe in the sea of freedom, I drowned in the ocean of subservience.

The art is to know when to stop.  
The art is to stop the pain that destroys you.  
The art is to appreciate time, knowing that it cannot be reversed.  
You can't...   
unus qui destruit postulatis mundi. contra legem divae.

\- You stole part of the Law of the Cycle. The hope of all Magicians, the power of their salvation.  
\- What I stole is only a fraction. I just took what makes Madoka herself, all her human memories. But somehow you ended up here too... You just have nowhere to go back to. 

Despair and the future joined in the darkness. Madoka told me the secret that became my guiding star. Under her light I would walk through the silence of the pale night. That dazzling world, shattered, vanished in the distance. Tears of the Goddess fall on my scarlet heart. 

They say no one reaches heaven, where the ruthless gods play their game. No cry will reach their souls. But Kaname... the embodiment of mercy... She will burn these skies to the ground!  
At the appointed hour, the light of love will shatter the dream of this world that seeks its doom.

\- What right have you to do so...   
\- For now 'Evil' is I. The one who ravages and breaks this world, the universe itself, so it is no surprise that I oppose the Goddess.

The first step. Into the unknown...?  
The first step? Into Heaven...? 

I stand in a flight of spiral staircases, choosing my path. 

Upwards means into the future.  
My bright future with the Goddess. Our silver garden on the other side of the steel door with fragrant flowers. It's just a matter of picking up the key. To solve this riddle. I'm searching for my happiness, but I can't understand a simple truth...   
quis ego sum vobis? neque interfectorem occisus es?

How many times do I have to ask these questions to myself?!  
Only fragments... A deception. My future is a fairy tale without a happy ending.

Madoka's dreams hid within them the sadness of all people who lacked something. May Kaname be merciful to me! I will renounce everything: killing, trying to change the past, time loops and new worlds... In the sunlight I will strive towards You - the infinite beginning.

Downwards means into the present.  
A world soaked in scarlet blood. This is the place where I was born and then fell. Your bright light, Kaname, is the trap that draws me to the Underworld. The flames of Hell will destroy the filth of the worlds, and then Thee. Darkness has become my comfort, and You, Kaname Madoka, will become its prisoner!

A pointless number of times we have exposed our blades. Listen to the sound of steel... Cold fingers slide over the enamel, the decorative layer of gold peeling off the sword, leaving only dust. Somewhere far away, in stray memories, I see Your silhouette. And You, do You remember me? I want to possess You, but this is madness. What do I want from You? Not passionate kisses, not a gentle embrace, not a light touch, obey me, say - yes, my mistress!  
quo ego vado?

Did I have a choice?! Illusion. An imitation. Whatever I choose, the outcome is the same.  
I am the darkness of the night sky where the moon triumphs.  
I am the torrential rain that gives life to the world.  
I am the phoenix, reborn from the ashes, waiting for its first flight into the sky.  
Diabolus successorem sibi destinasse.

\- Do you really want to destroy this universe?  
\- When all the demons have been destroyed, I'll think about it. Until then, I'm happy to play the role of your enemy. But, Miki Sayaka, do you think you can stand up to me? 

Well, what are you waiting for?! Perhaps a day where you can fulfill your greedy desire?! Banish your hesitation, Octavia von Sekendorf, and kill the Devil!

I will tell you my story.  
As a child, I dreamed of a power that could tear away even impenetrable darkness. It is the power of ancient magic. And though my heart will be broken into shards, I will continue my journey in search of a spell that will allow me to stand against despondency. Calmly blooming in all its grandeur, ancient magic whispers softly to me, "The power to change the world is in your hands". 

Time passed. I blossomed like a rose. In a purple haze, in a breath of cruelty. She dreams a dream woven of memories and I cannot sleep, I walk the thorny path waiting to meet Her. The love that is born of the stars leads me by a trembling hand to Her. Kaname, one day, I will capture Your heart. A reckless act.

The tales I was told as a child taught me that wishes are sure to come true. In the midst of light and darkness. On the edge of two worlds.  
My wish is to awaken the light.  
My wish is to proudly carry my heart.  
My wish is to create life.

Octavia von Sekendorf, one day when love possesses your heart and you wish for great power.  
Are you ready to kill me... for this sin?

\- I can't understand why, but I was part of something bigger. I was part of a force beyond this world. I can't get that feeling back. I wasn't here.  
\- I thought you'd be happier if you went back to your normal life. Forget everything that came before.  
\- Even so, there's one thing I'll never forget, that you, Akemi Homura, became the Devil!

Memories change...   
Without knowing the terms, I made a contract with Kyubei. Thinking I could protect everyone, I ended up losing the fight to the strongest Witch, Walpurgis. Madoka sacrificed herself for me. She gave the last of her strength so I could go back in time to save her... save everyone... 

It went on like that over a hundred times. Eight years in the end. I tried to prevent the girls' contracts with Kyubey, while I myself prepared for the final battle. Madoka, after learning the truth about me and my past, agreed to the deal after all. Her great desire changed everything. Abolition of the Witches as a concept in the space and time of all existing universes. Madoka became the centre of the intersection of all time lines that were created by me. She became the Goddess that destroyed all Witches before they even existed.

In an instant I saw a future where the universe was being rearranged according to altered laws. Madoka, being in the last stage, destroys the Earth, but Madoka the Goddess ceases to exist herself first. We find ourselves in darkness. Since Madoka became a concept and soon destroyed, She never existed as a human being. She could not return or remain. In the new world, no one remembered Her but me. So I paid the price for my own desire, condemning myself to an eternity of suffering alone. 

***

Farewell... I will never see you again. On the other side of the universe, in the stillness of a shining sky, I hope you will hear my prayer... You will not be in my future, but among all the days we have been together, I will gather the lights of our dreams, and even the night will begin to shine.

\- One day we will be enemies, but even then I will dream of a world in which you will be happy.

ne obliviscamur,  
semper in roseis latet  
aliquis pro vobis ipse pugnabit  
ut longo meministis in ea,  
non solum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title of the chapter - Through time and space
> 
> 1\. one who shatters the postulates of the world. Goes against the laws.  
> 2\. What am I to you? The murderer or the one you kill?  
> 3\. Where do I go?  
> 4\. The Devil's successor.  
> 5\. Don't forget,  
> always, somewhere  
> someone is fighting for you  
> How long you will remember Her,  
> you will not be alone


End file.
